clever quotes (page 2)


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21.
Optimism: Waiting for a ship to come in when you haven't sent one out.
22.
As Long As There Are Tests, There Will Be Prayer In Public Schools.
23.
Never interrupt your opponent while he's making a mistake.
24.
You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.
25.
If you don't pray in my school, I won't think in your church.
26.
You know your god is man-made when he hates all the same people you do.
27.
Love is like pi - natural, irrational, and very important.
28.
life, n.: A whim of several billion cells to be you for a while
29.
Evolutionists have proof without any certainty. Creationists have certainty without any proof.
30.
It isn't homework unless it's due tomorrow.
31.
You never learn anything by doing it right.
32.
Friendships last when each friend thinks he has a slight superiority over the other.
33.
It may look like I'm doing nothing, but I'm actively waiting for my problems to go away.
34.
I come from a small town whose population never changed. Each time a woman got pregnant, someone left town.
35.
Anyone who uses the phrase "easy as taking candy from a baby" has never tried taking candy from a baby.
36.
It only takes 20 years for a liberal to become a conservative without changing a single idea.
37.
The shortest distance between two points is under construction.
38.
Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing.
39.
A criminal is a person with predatory instincts who has not sufficient capital to form a corporation.
40.
Every rule has an exception. Especially this one.
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top quotes
Below we have the top quotes as they were voted on by the visitors of witty-quotes.com.
  1. Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a minute, but set him on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
  2. The real trouble with reality is that there's no background music.
  3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
  4. House Guarded By Shotgun 3 Days A Week. Guess Which Days.
  5. Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.
  6. War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.
  7. It's your god. They're your rules. *You* go to hell.
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