|
|
|
1.
|
Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a minute, but set him on fire, and he'll be warm for
the rest of his life.
|
|
2.
|
The real trouble with reality is that there's no background music.
|
|
3.
|
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a
car.
|
|
4.
|
Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.
|
|
5.
|
War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.
|
|
6.
|
It's your god. They're your rules. *You* go to hell.
|
|
7.
|
I once prayed to god for a bike, but quickly found out he didnt work that way...so I stole a
bike and prayed for his forgiveness
|
|
8.
|
If pro is opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress?
|
|
9.
|
My god carries a hammer. Your god died nailed to a tree. Any questions?
|
|
10.
|
Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them.
|
|
11.
|
If you think things can't get worse it's probably only because you lack sufficient imagination.
|
|
12.
|
A train station is where the train stops. A bus station is where the bus stops. On my desk, I
have a work station...
|
|
13.
|
You can't be late until you show up.
|
|
14.
|
Knowledge is realizing that the street is one-way, wisdom is looking both directions anyway
|
|
15.
|
Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it
telling us to sit down and shut up.
|
|
16.
|
Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good is like expecting the bull not to
charge because you are a vegetarian.
|
|
17.
|
A single death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic.
|
|
18.
|
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources
|
|
19.
|
books have knowledge, knowledge is power, power corrupts, corruption is a crime, and crime
doesn't pay..so if you keep reading, you'll go broke
|
|
20.
|
Advice for the day: If you have a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: Take two,
and KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN.
|
|
|
funny headlines
