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1.
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Thou shalt not sniff the crotch of everyone thy encountereth.
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2.
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Thou shalt not sneak up on me and lick me in the mouth while I am sleeping.
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3.
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Thou shalt not pass gas in my presence and then walk away as if thou hast been offended by me!
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4.
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Thou shalt not act half starved whenever thou watchest me eat.
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5.
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Thou shalt not harmonize with the cat at 3 a.m.
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6.
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Thou shalt not WATCHEST the cat while she is in her litterbox. (she liketh her privacy)
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7.
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Thou shalt not lie down next to me and commence making licking and popping noises.
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8.
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Thou shalt not roll in any smelly stuff thy findeth in the yard.
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9.
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Thou shalt not run away in pursuit of a good time. (thou hast been neutered)
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10.
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Thou shalt refrain with becoming overly friendly with my mother-in-law's leg.
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11.
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Thou shalt refrain from coughing and gagging while we have company.
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12.
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Thou shalt not hide thy bones under my pillow.
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13.
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Thou shalt not drink out of the toilet.
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14.
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Thou shalt not lift thy leg to water the Christmas tree.
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15.
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Thou shalt not dig up my favorite rose bush.
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16.
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Thou shalt keep thy nose out of the cat's litter box.
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17.
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Thou shalt not treat my shoes as if they were thy chew toy.
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