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1.
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Divorce : Future tense of marriage.
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2.
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Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool on the other.
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3.
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Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the
students without passing through the minds of either.
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4.
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Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest
piece.
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5.
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Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water power.
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6.
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Dictionary : A place where success comes before work.
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7.
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Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later
on.
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8.
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Classic: A book which people praise, but do not read.
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9.
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Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
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10.
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Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
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11.
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Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
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12.
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Etc: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
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13.
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Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be
done together.
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14.
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Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.
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15.
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Atom Bomb : An invention to end all inventions.
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16.
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Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
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17.
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Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to
the trip.
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18.
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Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
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19.
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Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway "See I am not injured
yet."
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20.
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Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
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