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1.
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A wrong note played timidly is a wrong note. A wrong note played with authority is an
interpretation.
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2.
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When everyone else has finished playing, you should not play any notes you have left. If you
have notes left over, please play them on the way home.
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3.
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If you play a wrong note, give a nasty look to one of your partners.
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4.
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Everyone should play the same piece.
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5.
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Happy are those who have not perfect pitch, for the kingdom of music is theirs.
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6.
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Carefully tune your instrument before playing. That way you can play out of tune all night with
a clear conscience.
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7.
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Stop at every repeat sign, and discuss in detail whether to take the repeat. The audience will
love this a lot!
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8.
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If you are completely lost, stop everyone and say, "I think we should tune."
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9.
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If everyone gets lost except you, follow those who get lost.
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10.
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Markings for slurs, dynamics and ornaments should not be observed. They are only there to
embellish the score.
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11.
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Take your time turning pages.
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12.
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If the ensemble has to stop because of you, explain in detail why you got lost. Everyone will
be very interested.
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13.
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If a passage is difficult, slow down. If it's easy, speed it up. Everything will work itself
out in the end.
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14.
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The right note at the wrong time is a wrong note (and vice versa).
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15.
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A true interpretation is realized when there remains not one note of the original.
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16.
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Strive to get the maximum NPS (notes per second). That way you gain the admiration of the
incompetent.
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17.
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Keep your fingering chart handy. You can always catch up with the others.
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