|
|
|
41.
|
Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.
|
|
42.
|
When there's a will, I want to be in it.
|
|
43.
|
Life is a sexually transmitted disease with 100% mortality.
|
|
44.
|
Are you part of the majority? If you say yes, then you are of the minority.
|
|
45.
|
What the hell do you mean, my birth certificate expired?
|
|
46.
|
Dictionary: the only place marrage comes before sex anymore
|
|
47.
|
Food is an important part of a balanced diet.
|
|
48.
|
I haven't reported my missing credit card to the police because whoever stole it is spending
less than my wife.
|
|
49.
|
Don't be so humble - you are not that great.
|
|
50.
|
We have good reason to believe he was stabbed. There was a sharp object sticking out of his
chest
|
|
51.
|
I can handle pain until it hurts.
|
|
52.
|
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
|
|
53.
|
"Would anybody tell me if I was gettin'..... stupider?" --George W. Bush
|
|
54.
|
Honk if you've never seen an Uzi fired from a car window
|
|
55.
|
Recursive: adj. see Recursive
|
|
56.
|
This is a quantum car. I don't know where I am, but I'm going really fast.
|
|
57.
|
Basic Definitions of Science: If it's green or wiggles, it's biology. If it stinks, it's
chemistry. If it doesn't work, it's physics.
|
|
58.
|
You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
|
|
59.
|
I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.
|
|
60.
|
Radioactive cats have 18 half-lives.
|
|
|
funny headlines
